


By my side

by JesterFesta



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Changbin is a school dropout, Fluff, Hyunjin studies literature, M/M, This got long, at least it's supposed to be, eyes are important kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-12
Packaged: 2019-11-16 02:58:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18086156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JesterFesta/pseuds/JesterFesta
Summary: In which Hyunjin who works at his parents' coffee shop while studying literature gets closer with a rather peculiar customer. A little story of how two people who seem so different can be just perfect for each other with a bit of acceptance and understanding.





	By my side

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second thing I wrote for Stray Kids and it really just came to be because I drew a thing and wanted a story to go with it. Hope you guys like it, I'm trying to get into fluff but it's haRD to not hurt my characters :'D  
> (this was supposed to have a very different conflict but I decided to keep that one for another time)  
> Follow me on twt to watch me drown in this new fandom I didn't know I needed! @JesterFesta

“One iced americano, please.”

Hyunjin scanned the customer for a brief second. The young man was in the shop for the first time, Hyunjin would have remembered a short man around his age whose right arm was covered in tattoos and whose ears were riddled with piercings. You didn't see that often on guys his age and Hyunjin concluded that the stranger was probably some rough school dropout. A leather jacket was dangling from his shoulder and the dark beanie he wore pushed his fringe down so it almost covered his eyes. His face was rather angular and the eyes behind the curtain of hair looked...they looked somewhat cold with how dark they were. They made Hyunjin feel the tiniest bit uneasy.

But no matter what a customer looked like or how he made him feel, Hyunjin had to perform perfectly so he showed his brightest smile and typed in the order with a few practiced movements. “That would be two thousand five hundred Won.” The dark eyes kept staring at him, unwavering and intimidating as the customer placed a couple of coins on the counter next to the register. “I'll get your order ready right away, take a seat and I'll bring it to you.” The corner of the stranger's mouth twitched upwards before he nodded and walked over to one of the seats by the window.

Hyunjin prepared the americano with a yawn hoping that nobody would notice how tired he was from his afternoon classes. Half past eleven at night was not necessarily the best time for someone to buy a coffee unless they intended to stay awake the entire night. But Hyunjin was not going to complain as long as their little coffee shop with bakery sold some more.

He could see his father peek out from the kitchen not missing out on the demanding gaze. _Watch the image, son._ The image had to be perfect. He had to look perfect. Hyunjin straightened his back and shook his head before grabbing the iced coffee and moving over to the customer's seat. Just before he could put down the drink his foot got stuck on a slightly pulled-out chair and he tripped spilling some of the liquid over his fingers and the dark jeans of the tattooed customer.

So much for being perfect.

“O-oh my God, please forgive me”, Hyunjin stuttered right away, unable to decide whether he should put down the coffee or just bring it back to the counter. The customer had jolted a little in his seat but didn't do much else besides staring with those guarded eyes. Hyunjin swallowed hearing his father's steps approaching from behind. “I...I will make you a new one, this was my fault, I am deeply sorry-”

His father interrupted him with a warm voice. The friendly customer voice. “I apologize for my son's behavior, this was not supposed to happen.” The old man turned away from the customer and towards Hyunjin, eyes freezing over and causing the young man to cower just the slightest. He hated this gaze, he always tried to avoid it. He hated to disappoint. The customer kept observing the situation with a slight frown beginning to form on his face as Hyunjin's father spoke. “Hyunjin, how many times do I have to tell you to be careful? You can't just scurry around and expect there to be no consequences.”

“I'm sorry, it was an accident-”

“Accident or not, this must never happen, what will people think of you? Now go make our customer a new coffee and-”

“Excuse me, sir?” Hyunjin's eyes quickly snapped towards the customer whose mouth twitched again. Was it the hint of a smile? The tattooed man pointed at the now half-empty plastic cup. “Can I have this one _and_ the new one, maybe? I don't want you to throw away precious coffee just because your son spilled half of it over me.”

Hyunjin's father was quick to agree telling him that of course he would get both to make up for the  _complications_ . As he turned back to the kitchen he shot Hyunjin a glare so disappointed he could feel how his heart received a crack. It hurt. He had tried like he always did. But he would never be enough. Not for his father. Not for anyone. Hyunjin took a deep breath and ran a hand through his sand brown hair to get a grip on his expression before putting down the half empty coffee with an apologetic smile. 

Only a couple of minutes later, he returned to the customer with another iced americano, about to apologize once more when the stranger's fingers curled around his wrist. His knuckles looked a little sore, skin rough on the back of his hand but surprisingly soft around Hyunjin's wrist. “Hey, uhm...Hyunjin, right?” Hyunjin couldn't tell whether he was cold or just panicking because of the spilled coffee from earlier but he noticed how he was shaking. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. He stared at the customer with wide eyes, not knowing what exactly was to come until the other's lips spread into a careful smile. “Come sit down with me for a moment, will you?”

Hyunjin abused his lower lip with his teeth curling his hand into a fist to suppress the tremor. “I'm really sorry for that but if a customer comes in I cannot just sit around. I should-”

“You should sit down when I ask you to. Let's tell your dad it was compensation for the coffee if he asks? It's not like there are many customers here at this time.” He was right, there was just one more overworked student in the far back and Hyunjin didn't expect anybody else to show up before they closed at midnight either. The customer tugged at Hyunjin's wrist to make him sit down opposite of him. The eyes were demanding and Hyunjin didn't know how else to react so he just let himself fall into the soft chair with the customer's warm fingers not leaving his wrist. “My name's Changbin and you should drink this.” The half-empty coffee was pushed towards him who barely managed to keep himself from frowning. Why should he drink a customer's coffee? Was it a form of punishment? But the coffee itself was good, why would the customer just give up half of a free coffee- “Don't think and just drink. It hurts just watching you worry your pretty head over this.”

“Sir, I-”

“Changbin. I said it's Changbin.”

“O-okay, Changbin, I can't just drink your coffee”, Hyunjin deadpanned only to have Changbin push the coffee closer yet again. His eyes remained unwavering but something had mixed into the cool blackness. If Hyunjin had been delusional he'd have thought it to be concern. When he realized that he didn't have much of a choice, Hyunjin simply bent his head to take a sip through the straw and the customer leaned back with a satisfied smile, fingers grazing over Hyunjin's skin and leaving him with goosebumps.

“That's a good boy. I hope it will wake you up a little, you look dead tired.”

Hyunjin almost choked on the cold coffee but caught himself in a hurry, withdrawing his hand from Changbin's soft touch to cover his mouth. The image was not perfect. He looked tired and the customers had noticed. He'd never hear the end of this.

“Oh no, no, don't panic.” Changbin seemed to notice the shift in Hyunjin's eyes and quickly leaned forward again, grabbing the coffee and raising it to Hyunjin's lips to make him drink more. “I thought letting you sit down for a moment would help you recharge, it's not meant to be an accusation or anything, alright? I thought I'd do you a favor.” Hyunjin frowned, surprised that a random customer would try to help him out. Changbin sighed as he watched Hyunjin drink some more coffee. “Your dad's the owner, right? He went way too harsh, accidents happen. I didn't even need the extra americano but now you've got one so that's good, right?” Changbin was talking very fast and Hyunjin had to give his all to keep up.

“I...That wasn't harsh, it's been worse before”, he shrugged with a little sigh but still kept his back straight to be able to jump up if his father was to come back and check on the tattooed customer. _There are too many coffee shops in Seoul_ , the old man always said, _we have to be perfect to compete._ Everything had to be perfect. But Hyunjin was far from that.

A groan came from Changbin and Hyunjin snapped out of his thoughts, watching as the young man made himself comfortable on his chair with his arms crossed. The relentless eyes were still on his face and Changbin's mouth twisted a little like he was not entirely sure what to say. “I bet you're an only child.”

“Huh?” It was rude to stare but Hyunjin couldn't break the eye contact, confused by Changbin's statement.

“You're the only child to your parents, right? I heard that those are often expected to be perfect by their parents, which is complete bullshit if you ask me but, you know, you fit the cliché.” Changbin averted his eyes to scan the dimly lit street outside and it gave Hyunjin the opportunity to stare a bit more. If Jeongin had been there he would have said the tattooed young man owned a resting bitch face and he wouldn't have been wrong.

“Y-yeah, I'm an only child”, Hyunjin confirmed when he realized he'd been asked a question. “I'm...I'm supposed to be their pride but I'm far from that. There's still a long way ahead of me.”

Changbin hummed as he took his coffee. The tattoos on his arm stretched down to his knuckles and Hyunjin could make out the shapes of spades, a set of wings and a skull between countless beautiful curls. His parents hated tattoos but Hyunjin thought them to be a form of art. Not that he could ever get one himself.

“You shouldn't care about what others tell you, you will only self-destruct over time”, Changbin mumbled, still observing the few cars passing by outside.

Hyunjin didn't know what to reply and remained quiet, sipping on his coffee as the background music changed from jazz to ballad. The student in the back stowed he laptop away and gathered her belongings to leave for the night – Hyunjin knew she would come back the next day, exams were approaching steadily and she had to study.

Hyunjin had to study as well but that was not something he should be concerned with while at work. Work was work. University was university. He'd jam his studies into the free spaces in between, it was no big deal. That's what it had been like since day one at uni.

A couple of silent minutes passed and Hyunjin could feel how the coffee worked wonders on his worn body when Changbin glanced at him and smirked a little. Careful but friendly. “I should leave for the night, you have to close up in 10 minutes anyway.”

“I do? Oh, uhm, yeah, sure. Sorry again for the incident-”

“I don't want to hear any more of that, you've got more important stuff on your mind.” Changbin got up and slipped the tattooed arm into his leather jacket leaving only the spades visible. He grabbed the remains of his coffee and stretched his back with a little yawn as Hyunjin rose to his feet as well. “See ya then, Hyunjin. Get a good night's rest.”

“Th-thank you. You....you too, Changbin.” Hyunjin licked his lips before smiling at the short male. Now that they were standing next to each other it was obvious that their height difference had to be at least ten centimeters. Changbin was tiny and along with this, Hyunjin noticed that the discomfort from when the young man had come in had disappeared somewhere in between their short conversation.

He watched as Changbin made for the entrance, turning once more with a wave before vanishing into the night of Seoul. Hyunjin glanced at his coffee on the table and he was sure he could still feel the warmth Changbin's fingers had left behind on his wrist. Looks could be so deceiving. Changbin seemed to be a really nice guy.

 

 

 

 

 

The next day was off work for Hyunjin. Even though he occasionally helped in the bakery part of their shop, the demands of his parents were not as strong during those times so he usually took them to study and read. Jeongin had come by around lunch time to collect his favorite sandwich like he had done it every Wednesday for the past couple of years. He was living in the area and Hyunjin was proud to call the little bubbly boy his childhood friend. His playfulness had helped Hyunjin through many stressed moments of his life and he appreciated the never-disappearing smiles.

“And then my mom told me to simply put out the fire but, you know, I was just frozen!”, Jeongin exclaimed in the middle of telling Hyunjin about his burnt pork belly dilemma from last week and Hyunjin just chuckled quietly, making sure to keep a finger in the book he had been reading so he wouldn't get lost.

“You know you could just move the meat, like, away from the fire?”

“Yes of course but, you see, the flame was, like, this high-” He reached upwards, hopelessly exaggerating his story when his eyes fell on the clock at the wall. “Wait, it's two o'clock already? Damn, I'll be late for class!”

Hyunjin buried his face in his free hand to hide his smile as Jeongin quickly packed his bag, knocking over his coke in the process. The boy was hopeless, he'd always been. While Jeongin was panicking, Hyunjin could hear the door to the coffee shop open and as he turned to glance at whoever had come in he stopped in surprise.

The cold eyes from the day prior were looking back at him and Hyunjin took in the chains dangling from a leather belt and the oversized hoodie that made him look even smaller than he already was. It had barely been fourteen hours since their last meeting and Changbin was already back in the coffee shop. _Maybe the image didn't suffer that much after all._

The chains rustled when Changbin came closer and pushed his sleeves up to reveal part of the tattooed arm, it had to be really warm when you came in from the outside. Jeongin mumbled a quiet 'wow, what a bad boy' and Hyunjin was about to scold him for having no brain to mouth filter but Changbin's voice was faster.

“Don't tell me you spilled another drink”, he said burying his hands in his pockets as his eyes fell on the coke Jeongin had knocked over. The coldness melted away and a mischievous glint made its way up into Changbin's eyes. “This shouldn't become a habit to spend time with your customers, Hyunjin.”

“What? No, it was Jeongin, I didn't even- I'm not even working right now.” Hyunjin took a deep breath clenching his eyes shut to get a grip on himself. It was a joke, no need to explain everything.

Jeongin heaved his bag over his shoulder with a deep frown on his face as his eyes moved from Hyunjin to Changbin and back again. “Is he the guy from yesterday?”

“He talked of me? I am honored.” Changbin smiled smugly to which Jeongin just crossed his arms.

“He said you were intimidating and looked like some tiny gang boss, is all. He was right.”

“Jeongin, what the hell?!”, Hyunjin exclaimed with wide eyes. He hadn't worded it like that. Not...not exactly. Before he could do anything to shut his friend up he had already run up to the entrance with a boyish laugh, disappearing into the street without giving Hyunjin a chance to even yell something after him. He was quick to look at Changbin for a reaction and he could see how the eyes hardened over just the tiniest bit. “That's not what I told him, believe me. I just told him I spilled a drink on a guest who could probably have gotten me grounded but instead chose to give me coffee which was weird and then I didn't know what to do, so I really messed up the conversation part a-and I'm rambling, am I not?”

Hyunjin kept sitting in his chair, Changbin looking down on him with those unchanging eyes of his. “So, I'm intimidating and weird, huh?”

“Well, my first impression of you may or may not have been that one but, you see, never judge a book by its cover and all, I really didn't mean to offend you or anything. I'm really grateful for the coffee and-”

Changbin sighed, tension slowly disappearing from his body as he scratched his head with one hand. “Guess I can't blame you. You're off work, you said?”

Hyunjin didn't know how to evaluate that reaction but at least Changbin didn't seem to be mad. _Always be polite, he didn't do anything to you, right?_ Right, he was just intimidating. Tiny but intimidating. “I am but I could make you an iced americano if that's what you came for?”

Changbin shrugged with a nod and Hyunjin started cleaning up the mess Jeongin had made, placing his book by the counter. Pacing through the shop to get rid of the sandwich plate as well as the spilled coke, Hyunjin soon stepped behind the counter to take Changbin's order.

“That book is boring as hell”, Changbin mumbled tracing the letters on Hyunjin's book cover with his index finger. “My friend had to read it for class and I never heard the end of his complaints.”

Hyunjin hummed as he put the ice into the plastic cup with a smile. “It's alright once you get into it. I have an exam in a week, so I really have to understand everything about it. Stamina is all you need.”

Changbin nodded once more as he received the coffee from Hyunjin. “I'll tell him that. Why don't you sit down with me again? I won't talk so you can read in peace, I promise.” Hyunjin hesitated for a moment and Changbin tilted his head slightly. “Unless you don't want to sit with the tiny gang boss anymore.”

“I didn't mean to offend-”

“No offense taken”, Changbin cut him off with a little smile as he signaled Hyunjin to follow him to the same seat as the day prior. The student glanced back and forth between the window seat and his father in the kitchen, then gave their part-time barista a small nod before he grabbed his book to join the unexpected ally he had found in Changbin. “What's your major?”, he asked as soon as Hyunjin sat down, head resting on his tattooed hand. “English studies?”

“Literature”, Hyunjin replied with a smile only to bite his lip a second later. “My parents wanted it to be accounting, they were livid when they found out I was going to _read_ _books_ of all things. They said literature is a major with no future.”

“What bullshit. Why would you be able to study it if it were useless? Literature is cool”, Changbin retorted throwing his legs over the chair's armrest. “There are so many treasures hidden in literature, it's not always about the money you can make from it.”

Hyunjin's smile returned. Changbin understood him, he didn't get that reaction often. Besides, Hyunjin knew that he would continue the coffee shop bakery anyway and he knew how to manage it. Why not broaden your horizons with literature in the meantime? “What are you doing, by the way?”, he asked while flipping his book open. “Are you studying?”

“Ha, nope.” A sudden bitterness bled into Changbin's voice and Hyunjin looked up to see how the other had clenched his jaw. “Currently I'm just...holding up, I guess. I'm part-timing at a bar a few blocks away. Only until I find something better though.”

“I see.” Hyunjin didn't exactly know what to reply to that but it didn't seem like Changbin expected much more of him. “That's...real life experience, you can always use that.”

“I've had enough real life, I just want to drown myself in coffee these days”, Changbin chuckled before they both fell silent, Hyunjin turning his attention towards the book and Changbin observing what was going on in the street. They were wrapped in comfortable silence and Hyunjin occasionally tapped his foot or hummed along to the music as he turned page after page. He got so immersed into the book, he almost forgot Changbin – an actual stranger – was sitting across the table. Hyunjin raised his gaze for a brief second to check on Changbin only to look right into the dark eyes. Feeling caught for no reason he immediately went back to staring at the page he'd stopped at.

This happened two more times before Hyunjin just let out a deep breath and put the book down. “Is something wrong?”

“What? No, I was just...you know”, Changbin drifted off and swallowed as he directed his gaze towards the street outside again. “You really _do_ seem to enjoy that book, is all. Your face shows what's going on in that story and it looks like a roller coaster of emotions.”

His face? Hyunjin licked his lips, face heating up at the thought of how idiotic he must have looked. This was why he preferred reading alone. “That's- I mean, it's somewhat like a habit, I guess. It's when I concentrate that I just-”

Changbin chuckled and took another sip of his americano. The ice had melted away long ago, how long had they been sitting there anyway? “Don't defend yourself, it was amusing to watch, that's all I'm saying. It's good to see you're so passionate about something.”

Hyunjin calmed down a little at that and sank back into his chair. “I always loved to know how a story builds up and all.” After a moment of hesitation he added a quiet. “Back when I wanted to write my own.”

Changbin stirred in his seat planting his feet on the ground and leaning over the small coffee table with astonishment in his eyes. “You want to be an author?”

“Wanted. Past tense.” Hyunjin glanced around the coffee shop and took a deep breath. “But this here is my future now, I guess.”

“No shit, your parents, huh?” Changbin scowled when he received a nod in reply, pouting barely long enough for Hyunjin to see before he brightened up again. This was so different from the rather reserved guy he had made Changbin out to be. “So, did you write something? Any story you can't let go of?”

Hyunjin's eyes widened. Sure he had a couple of drafts upstairs in his room but they were rough and not very well-written. And nobody had ever cared enough to ask him about them anyway. “I...I do have a few but I'll probably never finish them...?”

It got even more confusing when Changbin's lips spread into a bright smile. “Show me! I want to read what's going on in your mind. I'll be your biggest fan.”

“I-I'll pass, they're dear to me”, Hyunjin retorted without thinking twice chewing on his lower lip. “I don't want people to judge me for those little fantasies of mine. No friends and no strangers.” He noticed how cold those words sounded only as he voiced them, regret filling his stomach at the way Changbin's body appeared to deflate. “B-besides I have my exam coming up. Maybe...maybe once I'm done with that. I need to think about it though, it's...I don't know, embarrassing?”

Hyunjin fumbled with his words as his opponent stared at him for a couple more seconds, then leaned back with a nod. “Alright, then. Think about it. When's your exam?”

“Next Thursday, two in the afternoon, why?”

“Just curious...” Changbin let his eyes wander, hands playing with the straw of his plastic cup. “That gives you a week to reconsider. I can read this judge-free, promise.”

“Why would you even be interested in my mediocre writing?”, Hyunjin tried to laugh the topic off but Changbin remained serious, eyes now back on his.

“Like I said, I want to know what's on your mind. Simple as that.”

“You'll be disappointed.” _Everybody is._

“I'll see that for myself, thank you.” Changbin emptied his coffee with a heartful yawn, stretching his arms and legs and getting up. Hyunjin watched as the other's face crinkled slightly and the chains on his pants clinked together with a metallic sound. “I should get going. I gotta tell my friend he's dumb for finding that book boring.”

Hyunjin wanted to object right away but Changbin's chuckle made the joke obvious so he relaxed again. “Tell him I'm ready to talk this out one on one. I'll fight for this book's honor if I must.”

Changbin was now laughing out loud, high pitched and so much unlike his appearance. “Easy there, courageous knight, I don't think you would stand a chance. Anyway, thanks for your company and good luck for your exam next week!”

Something gnawed at Hyunjin's mind when he heard those words, mood dropping for some reason. “You're not going to visit more often? Here I thought we might have a new regular.”

“Aww, you're going to miss me? How cute.” Changbin playfully swatted Hyunjin's knee as he made sure he hadn't forgotten anything. “If that's so, I might come back. We'll see about it.” He pulled down his sleeves, covering the tattoos again and walked towards the door with another smile. “See ya, Hyunjin.”

“Y-yeah, uhm...see you!”

Hyunjin watched through the window as Changbin disappeared in the busy crowd of the afternoon, wondering why it was so easy to talk to someone he didn't know a thing of.

It felt good, chatting with someone who didn't seem to have any expectations.

Hyunjin hoped Changbin would return sooner or later.

 

 

 

 

 

On his way home from university the next week, Hyunjin kept kicking a pebble down the street. The exam had been...it would have to be good enough. He had done his best but there were still things he could have done better if he had prepared more. Maybe his parents wouldn't ask about it for once. He made his way home in silence, listening to the deafening sounds of the city and the noisy chatter of old ladies on the bus. It was a sunny and only four in the afternoon but he felt like he had wasted the day by sitting in the auditorium with his fellow exam writers for a mere two hours. He was tired.

When Hyunjin rounded the corner and their little coffee shop came in sight he let out a sigh. _Dream Palace._ He wondered why his mother had chosen that name back then. Who cared about his dream? He would go to his room and sit around for three hours before heading downstairs and taking up his shift again like every Thursday. It was a normal work day. His eyes drifted away from the neatly designed shop sign and towards a dark figure sitting on the bench they placed in front of the shop during spring and summer. It barely even took him a moment to register who was sitting there and he chose not to question the way the corners of his mouth jolted up immediately.

Changbin hadn't shown his face since the day they had spent sitting across from each other in almost complete silence. Hyunjin had caught himself looking for the young man whenever a new customer had come in only to be disappointed at the fact that it wasn't him. He stepped closer to the bench as quietly as possible as Changbin had thrown his head back enjoying the sunlight with his eyes closed and a snapback in his right hand. He was wearing a dark red tank top and black ripped jeans, again with the chains hanging down. The familiar leather jacket was lying by his side along with a little bag and Hyunjin took the opportunity to examine the colorful swirls on Changbin's arm.

Looking closely he could spot letters in between the different motives but before he could put them together, Changbin tilted his head to catch him staring with a smile tugging at his lips. “Took you long enough to come back.”

“Huh?”

“Your exam. Was it hard? I'm sure you did well.” Changbin groaned as he leaned forward jamming his cap on. Hyunjin blinked a couple of times, wondering why the other would remember something as trivial as his exam.

“It...was fine? Maybe? I know I messed up some of it but I should have passed”, he shrugged when his eyes fell on a dark blotch on Changbin's jaw. “Is that...a bruise?”

“No biggie.” His hand came up to his jaw in a hurry, eyes widening slightly and Hyunjin saw little dark crusts on Changbin's knuckles. Much like during their first encounter when the skin had been roughed up as well. Changbin realized his mistake and cleared his throat, usually relentless eyes now staring holes into the ground. “Had a minor disagreement with someone because of my friend. I'm good.”

“So you started throwing punches at them?” Hyunjin's frown deepened when Changbin shrugged. This was the first time his actions seemed to match his image but the unease of their first meeting didn't return. Hyunjin knew that this guy could be surprisingly soft. _But apparently he's still a thug._ “I sure hope you had a good reason to do what you did”, he mumbled as he took Changbin's hand into his to examine the knuckles. “You want me to patch that up?”

“It's fine”, Changbin replied withdrawing his hand with another cough. “Anyway, I'm not here to get myself a coffee but to hang out. You got time to spare?”

“Me?” Hyunjin cocked his head to the side but nodded nonetheless. “I guess? I have, like, three hours. What would you want to do?”

“Then it's decided. Let's go!” Changbin quickly grabbed Hyunjin's wrist and dragged him away from the Dream Palace, further down the road.

“W-where are we going?”

“To the river!”, Changbin replied patting the bag he had thrown over his shoulder. “I brought comics!” A moment of silence passed during which Hyunjin just stared in surprise before he started laughing to himself, only sparing the coffee shop behind them one last glance.

Reading comics sounded like a good idea.

 

 

 

“You can't tell me he's just getting stronger to overcome this enemy as well.”

“It's a stereotypical shounen manga, what did you expect?”

“I don't know, the hero is allowed to lose sometimes. He can't get stronger unless he fails and learns from it-”

“Hello?? This is a super hero! They don't do that whole failing stuff!”

Hyunjin rolled his eyes at Changbin's outrage but he couldn't suppress the smile working its way up to his lips. Everything about Changbin's idea of reading comics and manga together had been new to Hyunjin. Changbin had taken to reading his favorite scenes to Hyunjin and whenever another voice was needed he would show him so he could read instead of him. It was...fun.

At some point, Changbin decided that just sitting on the broad stairs by the river was uncomfortable so he had placed his head on Hyunjin's thigh making himself comfortable on the ground. At first it had been weird, Hyunjin trying not to move too much with the heavy weight of Changbin's head to balance but soon enough a comfortable warmth had settled in his chest and he stopped fighting it.

They listened to the birds in the trees for a moment and Hyunjin leaned back on his palms with his eyes closed, letting the sun caress his skin. When he glanced down at Changbin he noticed that the other had abandoned his book to stare at him, comfortable warmth turning into a heat wave in an instant. “I-is there something wrong?”

Changbin kept his eyes the same for a few more seconds before dropping the open manga on his face to cover his eyes. “Thanks for coming along, I...I enjoy sitting here with you.”

Hyunjin wanted to talk it off smoothly but he couldn't ignore Changbin's tone of voice. He sounded...so genuine, vulnerable in a way and it made something flutter in Hyunjin's chest. “U-uhm, I'm...thanks for inviting me? I mean, you really didn't have to, we don't even know each other that well-”

“Let's be friends.” Again Hyunjin halted to take a deep breath. Changbin pushed the manga down to glance at him from one eye as if to check for a reaction of any kind. “It's not often that I get to talk to someone as comfortably as with you. Let's be friends, yeah?”

_Friends._ Friends sounded good. “Yeah, let's...let's be that. Friends, I mean”, he agreed quietly, watching as Changbin's eyes turned soft and warm for the first time. Hyunjin didn't know how to cope and before he could make the situation awkward he simply averted his eyes to look at the boats on the river. “Now tell your friend why you got beaten up, please. I have rights now.”

“Rights? What is this, a contract?”, Changbin huffed but broke off when his phone rang, sitting up and cramming it out of his bag with an apologetic grin. “Yeah, what is it?”

Hyunjin saw how Changbin's back straightened as he listened. “What the fuck, Han. What the hell were you thinking? How are we gonna explain that to Chris?”

The young man exhaled slowly rubbing a hand over his eyes. “That's not the point, this is about private property, not some marriage feud between you and Lee. Chris is doing his best to cover for you and you should watch yourself. Why is that so hard to understand?”

Hyunjin tried to shuffle closer to catch a glimpse of Changbin's face. The other looked displeased to say the least as he mumbled into the speaker of his phone. “I'll be home in an hour or so, don't you dare going anywhere, got it?...Alright then.” He hung up and turned to Hyunjin to bury his face in his shoulder without warning. It was sudden and caught Hyunjin off-guard. “I'm going to kill him myself if this keeps happening.”

“U-uhm, who...?”

“Han. The friend who got me into this fight”, Changbin groaned pointing at the bruise on his jaw. “He doesn't know what he got himself into, I gotta go and talk to him, sorry.”

Hyunjin let his eyes linger on the dark bruise, resisting the urge to stroke his thumb over it. Instead, he followed Changbin as he got to his feet and dusted off his clothes. “I should get back anyway, I can't be late for work.”

“Really, sorry-”

Hyunjin swatted Changbin's arm with a roll of his eyes while gathering the scattered comics. “I said it's fine. That Han guy seems to need your help, so go.”

Changbin accepted the books Hyunjin held out to him with a weak smile and mouthed a quiet 'thank you'.

They separated at the subway station and Hyunjin watched as Changbin disappeared into line four before he moved to wait for the line to his home. Whoever this friend of Changbin's was, he had to be very important or else he wouldn't have been worth fighting for. The bruises had looked painful and Hyunjin rubbed his thumb over his knuckles as if he could feel the dried blood there himself.

Changbin seemed to be a very protective friend but also a dangerous enemy in a way. _Let's be friends._ A quiet smile secretly stretched Hyunjin's lips as he kept staring at his entirely healthy hand.

For some reason, he now was his friend as well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

His parents scolded Hyunjin for being the tiniest bit late for his shift, asking where he'd been. They had seen him being dragged away by Changbin and said that _that thug_ could have taken him anywhere, harmed him, killed him maybe. Hyunjin could only laugh. As if Changbin would raise his hand against Hyunjin, there had been no signs of that whatsoever and he waved his parents' complaints off. Not that he could convince them. They seemed to be dead set on keeping Hyunjin away from the tattooed man. (“And those clothes, he can't be a decent person just judging by his looks.”)

Jeongin didn't seem to be pleased when Hyunjin told him of his reading session by the river either. Said that during those few minutes he had seen Changbin at the coffee shop there had been something dark in his eyes that made him look dangerous. But Jeongin had always been one to exaggerate, good things as well as bad ones.

Still, their words echoed in his head for the next two days and he was beginning to wonder what Changbin's life looked like if getting into fights was no big deal to him. Hyunjin was cleaning the tables at the shop humming along to the song that was playing from the speakers when the door opened with a chime and two arms wrapped around his shoulders from behind. “Hey there, friend!” Hyunjin staggered around for a bit before the arms loosened a little and he could turn around to come face to face with Changbin. “You on work duty again?”

Hyunjin was a bit taken aback by the sudden hug but smiled nonetheless. “I'm off in twenty minutes, why?”

“Let's go to the library! The lowly peasant I am needs an expert to recommend him some high class literature.” Changbin bowed dramatically and looked up again with a smile that made Hyunjin feel all warm and fuzzy. “If you've got nothing else to do, that is.”

“Oh no, I'm free but if you're asking for my favorite books we might as well just stay here, I got them all in my room anyway.” Hyunjin couldn't stop smiling when Changbin agreed, ordering an iced americano for the time he'd be waiting. (“I worked the night shift and haven't slept since then, I feel like fainting.”) The coffee shop was rather busy at this time of the day, so Hyunjin didn't have any time to talk to his new friend between taking orders and cleaning up. He glanced at the dark haired boy from time to time, realizing that he was being observed by the intense eyes for the most part, following his every move. It was somewhat awkward when their eyes met but Hyunjin appreciated the encouraging smiles he was granted every now and then. It was nice to have someone come to spend time with him who wasn't Jeongin, not that Hyunjin didn't appreciate the younger but it was just...different with Changbin.

 

 

 

 

Changbin walked into the room, eyes widening with every step he took. “Damn, this sure looks neat.”

“I would be disowned if it didn't”, Hyunjin shrugged, scanning the shelves and the colorful books inside with a satisfied smile. “It's not like I've got much time to do things up here anyway. I come here to sleep, read and game, nothing else.”

Changbin hummed and let his fingers caress the backs of the books. Hyunjin could tell that he was trying to be careful, not exactly knowing what to do so he just sat down on the bed with a sigh. “You remind me of my other friend in a way.”

A frown appeared on Hyunjin's face. “The one who got you into a fight?” He hadn't missed out on the new scratches and bruises along Changbin's left arm but it didn't look as bad as his hand had two days ago.

“No, not Han. The one I mean is Chris. He's a cool guy but very...caged in by his parents. Responsibilities and all.” Hyunjin sat next to Changbin observing the changes in his face closely. As soon as he mentioned parents he would always become slightly bitter and Hyunjin felt like there was more to that. The other noticed his stare and raised a brow. “I can hear the gears in your head. What's on your mind, shoot.”

“You...you don't have a good relationship with your parents, do you?”

Changbin didn't say anything for a good while, unmoving as if to analyze the situation and his options. “Promise me not to think differently of me.”

“Why would I-” Hyunjin stopped himself to just shrug with a nod. “Fine, I won't.”

Changbin hesitated for another moment before he pressed his lips together forcing a smile. “I ran away from home five years ago. I used to live in Yongin but came to Seoul to get away from there.” Another silence spread between them as Hyunjin didn't know how to react to that. Running away from home was something he couldn't imagine doing. Maybe he was just too well off for once, at least he had a future to expect. “My old man was abusive, my mother depressed and my sister ran off with some guy to leave me with the other two”, Changbin continued to explain, “I had to get out of there, it was no place for a sixteen year old, so I grabbed some cash and fled into the night. That's the last time I heard of my parents, they didn't even come looking for me.”

Hyunjin swallowed. Of course families like these existed but he just never felt it to be such a real situation to anyone. This was only happening in dramas and movies. Hyunjin had been overcharged with his demanding parents already, having some who did nothing to raise you properly was the same as not having parents at all. No wonder Changbin appeared so mature yet so free in spirit.

“Now don't look at me like that”, Changbin mumbled with a pout, eyes averting as if he couldn't stand the other's gaze for the first time. “I'm holding up alright. I found Chris and Han and they're my family now, I just had a lot of stuff to figure out on my own and parents are...you know, a weird topic.” He moved around on the bed and drew up his knees leaning against Hyunjin's shoulder, still not meeting his eyes. It made him look weak and small for the first time.

Hyunjin felt like pressing the matter would not help in any way so he just thought about possible books he could recommend the lonely runaway boy, pulling out one from the little cupboard right next to them. “I'd say this one should be good”, he whispered, feeling that speaking with a raised voice would break whatever atmosphere was beginning to form in the room and Changbin looked up to scan the book cover.

“The little prince? I've never had the chance to read it, you say it's good?”

“It should be perfect for you”, Hyunjin insisted while making himself comfortable with a blanket thrown over his legs. Changbin hooked his chin onto his shoulder from behind to be able to see the drawings and Hyunjin could feel how his chest was flush against his back, warm and calm. “I didn't peg you to be a cuddly person”, he mumbled with a little smile and Changbin let out a chuckle.

“I am a man of many surprises.”

“Sure you are.” Hyunjin opened the book, stopping for a second. “Do you want to read it alone or-”

“Read it to me, please”, Changbin demanded with amusement in his voice. “You did that so well with the comics the other day, too.”

Hyunjin swallowed hard when the other's voice sounded right next to his ear and he could feel the vibrations it caused in Changbin's chest. It wasn't unpleasant, far from it. Hyunjin just didn't think it could be so easy to be comfortable with somebody he hadn't even met until two weeks ago.

He began to read, fast and slow, calm and agitated, high and low. Changbin chuckled occasionally but otherwise remained quiet, listening to Hyunjin's voice until his breathing began to even out. When fingers started curling around the fabric of his shirt, Hyunjin tried to turn his head to glance at Changbin only to find him fast asleep, calm and peaceful. Despite having had a coffee earlier, the night shift at the bar must have taken its toll on him and Hyunjin couldn't bring it over himself to wake the other up.

Instead, he shifted slowly until they were both lying on the bed, side by side, face to face and Hyunjin took a few minutes to take in the peaceful expression on Changbin's face. With the judging eyes hidden from the world, he looked content, fingers twitching at times due to whatever dream he was having and lips moving without ever letting out a sound. This was a Changbin that didn't fight and didn't have to worry. Hyunjin's heart clenched when he thought of the loneliness the other must have felt when he had run away from home. He reached out with his hand to caress the cuts and bruises on Changbin's hand, touch light to not wake the other up.

_If only there was something I could do for you_ , Hyunjin thought to himself as his own eyes grew heavier until he couldn't keep them open any longer. Maybe a few minutes of sleep would help him as well, the day had been exhausting. Changbin's fingers curled around his in his sleep and Hyunjin smiled softly before drifting off into his own dreams.

The birds' cheerful melodies could be heard outside and it felt like lying in a field of flowers on a sunny summer's day. Comforting and warm.

Just the way it was meant to be.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They had been meeting up more frequently for the past couple of weeks. Sometimes outside but usually at the coffee shop so Hyunjin wouldn't miss the start of his shift again. Changbin didn't seem to mind much, on the contrary, whenever they were spending time at the Dream Palace he seemed much more relaxed than elsewhere. Hyunjin had noticed that the other tended to draw up his shoulders and that his gaze hardened when they were downtown, so he took to inviting Changbin over to the shop instead.

Ever since they had agreed to become actual friends, Changbin had become more clingy, hugging Hyunjin out of the blue or playing with his earrings whenever he wore dangling ones for example. They were little gestures that made him feel warm but Hyunjin himself was not one to initiate contact like that, so he was happy Changbin was. It just felt like they were two puzzle pieces fitting together.

His parents were still very opposed to his connection with the tattooed man but at least Hyunjin had managed to convince Jeongin that Changbin was a good guy. The younger had insisted on meeting Changbin once, all but pestering him with questions about his hobbies, favorite foods, even asked about his comic book preferences like that gave any information on Changbin's character. The new friend had replied to everything with patience, even getting excited when talking about the stray cat he was raising these days and Jeongin finally caved in like he had to approve for Hyunjin to be friends with Changbin.

Either way, Hyunjin loved talking to Changbin because he could complain about everything and anything down to the pettiest little problem and he would always receive an honest opinion in return. Being scolded by his parents, fearing bad grades, having an existential crisis over a cup of coffee – the gravity of Hyunjin's situation didn't matter, Changbin listened attentively, giving feedback and advice that made him see the positive sides of things. It seemed like Changbin genuinely enjoyed their little discussions, remembering unnecessary information from another day and applying them to new discussions. Hyunjin felt so understood and he could only hope that Changbin felt the same because he didn't want this to stop.

Hell, he didn't even want to part with the short man, resulting in them sending messages back and forth every day after exchanging phone numbers. Still it didn't seem to be enough. Hyunjin felt like there was another step to take but his mind did its best to push the thought to the very back. Far away, only to come back when the time was right.

It wasn't until two months into their little meet-ups that Hyunjin got a call while closing up the shop at midnight. Nobody ever called him on his phone, Jeongin knew he didn't like taking calls, Felix and his other friends from university preferred texting anyway and other than that...Hyunjin whipped out his phone to glance at the caller ID.

Changbin.

Hyunjin accepted with a frown, hearing the sound of rain through the speaker and glancing outside. It was dark but there was a strong wind blowing through the trees and bushes, rain drumming against the shop windows as well. Changbin seemed to be outside. Hyunjin hummed to notify the other of the fact that he had picked up but much to his surprise, Changbin didn't address him.

“Chris, you hear me? Look, there was some trouble and I don't think I can make it home tonight-”

His voice was rough, as well as his breathing and Hyunjin blinked repeatedly to process what was happening. “Uhm, this is Hyunjin. Changbin, are you alright?”

“Hyun-” Changbin's voice faded out for a moment as he presumably checked the number he had called only to let out a quiet curse. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call you but Chris. I'm....I'm okay, I guess.” Changbin's tone of voice didn't sound _okay_ whatsoever and Hyunjin grew worried as he sat on the counter with his feet dangling.

“You're out in the rain at midnight and you sound really strained while telling Chris you won't be home. Sounds bad to me, where are you?”

“Don't worry about stuff like that, I'm just...you know, I gotta work at the bar tonight-”

“You never work there on Wednesday”, Hyunjin deadpanned growing restless. Why would Changbin lie to him? “Where are you now?”

A couple of seconds passed during which the rain could be heard again. Rain and slightly agitated breathing. “I'm-” Changbin finally spoke. “Wait, I'm actually near the coffee shop, I guess-”  
“Then come here.”

“Hyunjin, I don't think this is a good idea-”

“Now.” Hyunjin didn't know why he was so persistent. Maybe it was the hurt in Changbin's voice, maybe it was the weather conditions outside, maybe it was because Changbin walking around Seoul at midnight was not safe. Or maybe it was the fact that he hadn't seen Changbin in five days. “I don't care what you're saying, you shouldn't be out in the rain at this time and certainly not with the intention of not going home either. Come over.”

Changbin remained silent, audibly trying to calm his breathing before a beeping sound cut through Hyunjin's ear, signaling that the call had been ended. He stared at his screen in confusion and worry when a message came in.

_There in 10._

_...don't panic_

He read the messages again and again until the anger was blown away much like the leaves in the raging wind outside. There in 10. Why would he panic though?

 

The bell attached to the door chimed and Changbin came in, head lowered, hood up and cap pulled deep into his face so it threw dark shadows on his angular features. He was dripping from the rain getting the freshly wiped floor wet again but Hyunjin didn't care about perfection and quickly got up from his chair. “What happened to you?” His eyes fell on Changbin's clenched fists, both of them appearing to be wounded and cluttered with bruises and blood stains. The leather jacket was ripped by the sleeve – rather cut – and Hyunjin walked closer with a queasy feeling settling in his gut. “Changbin, what happened?”

“I told you not to panic, it's not that bad, okay?” His voice was harsher than usual but grew softer towards the end as he took a few deep breaths. It looked like he had to drop an image, a facade before talking like the Changbin Hyunjin knew. “I wouldn't have caught the last train home and I don't have money on me, so it was a no for the cab, that's why I called Chris.”

He still wasn't looking at Hyunjin so the student stepped closer to remove the hood. Changbin flinched at the touch, taking a few steps back only to let his shoulders slump in defeat shortly after as he reached for the cap and pulled it off himself. Hyunjin couldn't suppress a quiet gasp that escaped his lips and he reached out with his cool fingers to stroke over Changbin's face. His jaw was sore again, dried blood around the corner of his mouth where the lip was split open and cheeks bruised like he had taken more than just a couple of strong punches.

Contrary to Changbin's demand, Hyunjin panicked and of course he noticed with a huff, eyes trailed on the floor. Not looking up. Not daring to. “It was just a minor problem between Han and Lee and I somehow got dragged in there. I'm fine, yeah?”

“You're not.” Hyunjin grabbed Changbin's sleeve to not accidentally press against any bruises and dragged him upstairs to his room. He grabbed a set of his clothes and ordered Changbin to go take a hot shower first so he could get the dried blood off and warm up a little. The other had no chance to object.

Hyunjin was really glad his father was out drinking with friends and his mother had gone to visit her parents for a couple of days, he couldn't use their objections now. While waiting for Changbin to return, he prepared their medical kit with shaking hands, finally realizing what he was doing. What the hell had happened to Changbin? Hyunjin had taken to not questioning the bruises and little wounds for the most part but this was nowhere near those other days. Changbin looked like he was in a lot of pain, no matter how much he played it down and Hyunjin just...he just couldn't stand by and watch.

Changbin was a good person, one of the sharpest and most attentive ones he knew at that, and it just didn't feel like he would walk around getting into fist fights for nothing. He wasn't some thug, no, his parents were wrong.

His door opened quietly and Changbin entered the room, still not directly looking at Hyunjin. His hair was damp from the shower but of course the bruises were still as evident as before. Hyunjin's clothes were too big for him and they made him look small, so small Hyunjin felt warmth bloom in his chest only for it to constrict a moment later. “Come here, sit down so I can patch you up.”

Changbin came closer without a word and Hyunjin started applying band aids and ointment here and there. It was quiet for a minute or two until Changbin spoke up again, eyes set on the neat book shelves. “Why don't you, I don't know, throw me out?”

Hyunjin hesitated for a moment and tilted his head to the side. The easiest explanation would simply be- “We're...we're friends, aren't we?”

“You don't know anything about my life outside this coffee shop, you don't know what I am like and you don't even want answers to all the questions I avoided for the past weeks?”

“Of course I want answers but I also know that the person who shared their coffee with a stranger like me, who probably came off as extremely spoiled to them, would have reasons for whatever they're doing.” Hyunjin took Changbin's tattooed hand to apply some more ointment to avoid infections. “I don't like seeing you wounded, nobody should have to live like that. Whatever _that_ is.”

Changbin's fingers twitched slightly and he swallowed, voice now weak and vulnerable like all the way back at the river when they had read comics. “I didn't want you to see me like this.” He turned his head, finally looking at Hyunjin for the first time and his eyes- God, his eyes were so sad and spilling over with uncertainty, Hyunjin immediately dropped the utensils to get a better look at them. Changbin stared for a few quick heartbeats but withdrew with a groan a moment later. “It hurts to have people worry about me. You and Chris, I just...It's not even my fault I look like this but I feel so guilty, like I'm letting you down.”

“What are you talking about?”, Hyunjin replied quietly pulling Changbin into an embrace, curling his arms around the other's neck. “People worry because you mean a lot to them. You didn't let anyone down. You don't even have to explain anything, I just wish there was something I could do to help with whatever is going on.”

He felt Changbin's shaky exhales against his shoulder as the other curled his fingers into the fabric of Hyunjin's shirt. “It was a gang fight”, he mumbled eventually and Hyunjin had to listen closely to get the words. “I'm not really a part of Han's gang but he's like my _brother_. I'd do anything for him and Chris because I know they'd do the same for me and I don't even know how I got into that thing today but suddenly Han and I were chased by some people a-and...” Changbin was talking fast, running out of breath and having to calm down again as Hyunjin rubbed little circles on his back. “It's not the first time. I know Han does shady stuff but I don't question him much. He will have his reasons, just like you said with me but it's _hard_ to accept it when I'm the one they beat up in the end. It's...there's no other way for me to help but fighting by Han's side. I can't change him, Chris tried so often already but Han never...he never...”

During his next pause, Changbin broke and let out a choked sob, grasp on Hyunjin tightening to the point where it got painful. It felt like the short man had escaped his toxic family only to face new problems while at the same time being so, oh so soft-hearted and helpless. Hyunjin had heard him talk a lot about Chris and he seemed to be a really nice guy but with Han it was more two-faced. Sometimes Han would be the best younger brother Changbin could wish for, other days he was the reason for his pain.

Hyunjin took deep and slow breaths in order to calm Changbin before speaking up again. “Han needs to face plant to come to his senses.” He spoke carefully, not intending to come off as rude but he couldn't help the hint of bitterness in his voice. “He can't keep dragging you into this against your will. Brother or not, you can't let him do this to you. You keep telling me not to do as others expect me to, take your own advice for once.”

He didn't get a reply and he didn't need one as Changbin kept shaking in his arms for a few more minutes until he managed to calm down and distanced himself with a hoarse chuckle. “I'm sorry for being like this. I didn't mean to...I-I only wanted you to see my best side and now look at me. No wait, on second thought, don't look.”

Changbin was trying to distract him with humor but Hyunjin wouldn't let that happen and cupped his face with both hands instead to keep him in place. To keep looking at those eyes as long as their defenses were down. To take in all of Changbin during that moment. “You're always your best self. You can laugh and joke around but seeing you cry and worry so much doesn't make you any less amazing a human being”, he said firmly, watching as wonder bled into Changbin's eyes. “You didn't do anything wrong, on the contrary, you are such a loyal friend to Chris and Han they should be glad to have you. You've been struggling so much all this time but you're holding up great, don't you see how marvelous you are?”

Hyunjin couldn't believe that when they had first met he had thought the other to be intimidating, seeing as they were now here, in the comfort of his home as Changbin poured out his heart to him and he couldn't help glancing at the other's trembling lips. A new feeling sparked in his chest. Something that told Hyunjin to care, to cling to Changbin and to get as close to him as possible. He let his thumbs caress Changbin's bruised cheeks while the other shifted slightly. “I might not be as amazing as you think I am.”

“I'm not as perfect as you think I am, either.”

“Liar.” Changbin licked his lips, wincing at the unintentional action and clenching his teeth as he shook his head, barely noticeable. “Hyunjin, I don't want to fuck this up.” He sounded uncertain, so vulnerable it hurt.

Hyunjin swallowed hard but let go of Changbin's face after a moment while smiling. Maybe this was going too fast but Hyunjin would lie if he said Changbin wasn't important to him. “There's no way you can fuck this up.” He didn't want the other to leave, ever. Not when he was such a multifaceted and gorgeous person. Hyunjin didn't know how to escape the awkwardness that was slowly beginning to surround them but in an attempt to do so he took Changbin's right hand into his and started tracing the colorful swirls and letters that had become so familiar. “Tell me about your tattoos. I never asked what they stand for.”

Changbin cleared his throat and Hyunjin was sure he could see goosebumps on the young man's arm as he reacted to Hyunjin's cool touch. “Some of them are really meaningless and mere parts of the design but others...” He trailed off when Hyunjin reached the first word, if one would call it that. “SpearB. I used to call myself that, it was a name Han gave me when I was adamant on not telling them my actual name. It sounds real ridiculous but it grew on me, so I wanted to remember it somehow.”

He told a little story here and there, how the wings stood for his freedom when he had run away from home. How the little quotes featured near his elbow encouraged him to keep going. How the stupid name for their three-person living community came to be (who would go with 3racha anyway??). How the little celestial map was a symbol of his search for his dreams. Little things that gave away Changbin's struggle with life, so obvious right there on his arm yet so subtle Hyunjin hadn't thought much of them all these weeks. Little things that had turned Changbin into a wonderful self-reflective person.

When he reached Changbin's shoulder with his fingertips he had a new understanding of the other, again much deeper than he ever thought he would get with a normal visitor of the coffee shop and the warmth from his chest spread into his whole body. They looked at each other, Changbin slightly defensive as he awaited Hyunjin's reaction to all this. As though he still thought he could mess up big time and be chased out of the room, out of the house to be left on the dark streets again.

Hyunjin shook his head when he realized this and ran his fingers through Changbin's now dry hair. “You don't have to be afraid of what I'm thinking.”

Changbin lowered his defenses again and his eyes softened endlessly as he placed a warm palm on Hyunjin's knee. He swallowed hard, breath shaky as it ghosted over Hyunjin's cheek. “Just please don't drop me for the life I'm leading. I didn't want it to be like this either. I didn't choose it. I...I...”

Hyunjin had no words to reassure him anymore, his mind empty and heart aching with how much he wanted Changbin to see what he meant to him. No words to express the empathy and the wish to help with the seemingly endless struggle. No words but only impulses.

He leaned closer to press a chaste kiss against the chapped lips that were still so unbelievably soft. There were no words. They weren't needed to express himself. Changbin's breath hitched with a low gasp but he didn't seem to think twice when he pressed closer to Hyunjin, deepening the kiss and trying to match his pace. It was emotional, neither of them willing to let go, not even when there were new tears spilling from Changbin's closed eyes. They only parted when they were low on oxygen, quiet pants in a quiet room and foreheads pressed against each other to remain close.

Changbin was the first to speak up after endless silence, watery eyes set on Hyunjin's. “I'm afraid.” He sniffled. “Of losing you once you realize that I don't deserve you with all the shit going on in my life.”

Hyunjin shushed him, pulling them both down so they could lie down on the bed, side by side, face to face. “You deserve so much more than just me.” Changbin fisted the front of Hyunjin's shirt and scooted even closer so he could probably feel the other's heart hammering in his chest, legs tangled and warm blanket thrown over them. “We'll work this out, just let me help.”

Changbin nodded slowly, face buried in the crook of Hyunjin's neck. “Thank you. Thank you so much for just...being there. Existing.” Hyunjin listened to the words wanting to repeat them but he felt like it wasn't enough, combing his fingers through Changbin's hair as their heartbeats slowed down.

“...Changbin?” A quiet hum, followed by another pause before Hyunjin finally found the courage to take the risk. “I...I like you lots. I mean, I...I think somewhere along the way, I just...we kind of, I-”

“I love you, Hyunjin”, Changbin beat him to it, voice soft and amused at the stammering of the other. “Since the day by the river when your eyes reflected the afternoon sun.”

Hyunjin was at a loss for words, taken aback by the honesty and boldness. The day by the river seemed so far away already, yet remained crystal clear in his memory. They would fix Changbin's problems so they could go there again without the shorter having his walls up. They would find a way, no matter how different they were. Hyunjin closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of his own clothes on the young man in his arms and he smiled as he felt his conscious slip over into a palace of dreams. “I love you too, beautiful.”

Outside, the rain was clashing onto the pavement, cold wind blowing.

But no matter the weather – next to Changbin it would always be like a sunny summer's day.

Comforting and warm.

Right by his side.

 


End file.
